IT'S ( A COUPLE OF ) MIRACLES!!!

You could have knocked me out with a triple vodka tonic, a shot of jager and a half a valium...but the pResident publicly (in front of cameras no less) took responsibility for the dismal failure that was, and is, the response to the aftermath of Katrina. Wow! Seriously, that cocktail I just mentioned would knock anyone out despite anything that conniving bastard could ever say with the exception of " I resign " . Has he miracuously seen the error of his ways? Did Jeebus come visit him in the middle of the night and show him the burning, sulfurous afterlife awaiting him and his family and administration if he didn't change his ways "right god damn now" ? OR... Is this the only card left to play considering he has tanked ratings wise? Last I heard he was at a 39% approval rating. An all time low in a series of all time lows.Bless his heart...and I mean that in the most derisive southern way you could ever imagine.
Moving on.
While this notion of "intelligent design" has been making the rounds for some time, I haven't spent a lot of time thinking about it. Mostly because of the way I was raised I think. My Dad was a big archaeologist...we were constantly going out on digs. Evolution was an accepted fact in my household. God and religion was man made...an expression of faith.
But lately there's been a big push by the religious right to teach ( and I believe, eventually replace evolution ) creationism and "intelligent design" in the public schools. Another attempt to blur the lines between church and state, among other things.
If you want to have your faith, fine...believe what you want, but please keep it in the church, and more importantly, keep it to yourself. I have never seen a darwinist riding around town on a bicycle knocking on doors hawking the origin of species...ever...in my life.
I have been harrassed by an unending army of various religious people knocking on my door for as long as I can remember trying to convince me of the righteousness of thier particular brand of god propaganda, and for all of those who have knocked, and all of those who invariably will, here is my rebuttal to "intelligent design".

1. The box jellyfish. four brains, twenty four eyes, and enough venom to kill an adult human with one sting. Explain this one to me, please. Was god also working on the right formula for LSD when he designed this one?
2. Mosquitos and wasps and hornets. How about these miscreants? Would supporters of "intelligent design" say something like " God created them to sting people who have sinned or are considering sinning". I don't think so. If that was the case, these little critters would land on your shoulder and whisper in your ear "God says don't even consider ( insert sin of choice here ) or I'm gonna have to sting the fuck out of you".
3. AIDS. If you believe the Pat Robertson types, this is punishment for being gay, or a junky, or a sinner. If you believe the conspiracy theorists, the government designed it to rid the world of gays and blacks and other minorities. If you believe the primates in africa, they were just passing it on as payback for all that zoo oppression. It seems to me, that if there was such a thing as "intelligent design" there would be no gay people, no junkies, no sinners and no sick monkeys in africa. Or zoo's for that matter. Or any government that would ever give cause for people to think they would ever do anything to hurt us. It would be a perfect world, like that walgreens commercial only way more boring.
And finally, 4. Retards. What "intelligent designer" would allow the ongoing production of disabled and deformed and damaged models? Seriously. You would think that those kind of bugs would've been worked out from the get go. "Ooohhh...webbed fingers and toes combined with drooling stupidity is no good, time to re-shake the "intelligent design" etch-a-sketch and start over". Supporters of "I.D." would undoubtedly explain this as "punishment for sins", or maybe " God has a problem with booze ".
What kind of god would visit this kind of ugliness upon us? Not to mention the thousands of other ugly things visited upon us on a regular basis?
I'll tell you what kind...no kind.
Were doing this to ourselves...it's called evolution. I don't think we're finished yet,either. I've seen Waterworld...have you?
God is an expression of faith, and we've even managed to screw that all up. Go knock on somebody else's door, or better yet, go home.