WOULD YOU LIKE A BEATING WITH THAT?
Ann and I went to Maudies for dinner tonight...when will we ever learn? Crowded,loud,on the waiting list...and unruly children.(Have I mentioned that I hate children?I think I have).
But there's one thing I hate more than children...the parent(s).
There was a table of 7 "adults" to our immediate right who had a toddler with them.The (I'm guessing) dad was blowing his bud light breath into the kids face until she would start screaming and then the mom (I instinctively knew she was the mom because she kept PULLING THE KIDS PANTS DOWN,presumably checking for a buddy) would scold the child for screaming.This would be followed by the kid and dad making the "trouble face" for a few minutes and then he would do some genius thing like grab her face and shake her head around until she would start screaming again,or banging silverware on the metal table like a trance crazed haitian then mom would scold her again while checking the nappy again for klingons. There was,of course,the obligatory running around the patio like a dervish...which in particular makes me want to scream,overturn the table and throw chairs.
Meanwhile the other clampetts at the table were displaying the finest white trash traits in response to the kids frequent high decibel bursts of screaming,laughing or crying. There was a diaper change (out of view,thank god) but done on a counter where PEOPLE EAT,you idiot!!!!
Did I mention I HATE kids?(Let me clarify by saying I hate kids whose parents rely on the "feral plan" in regards to child rearing) In these situations I become instantly old and crotchity.
Maudies is not the fucking playscape at McDonalds people...get a clue.