IF THERE IS A HELL...
I spent 8 hours there today. We had our floors and carpets done at the shop where I work, and it had to happen on a day we were closed.My boss wanted someone to babysit the floor guy so he wouldn't ??? There's a reason my boss is like this,but that's another several posts.On with the story....
I volunteered...out of a charitable moment (the bartender clarified charitable as a brain fart!) and thought it would be an easy way to make some extra cash...WRONG.
I show up at 9am,expecting the floor guy at 9:30...he doesn't show up until after 10.
This guy has been courting us for weeks to get this job,and from the first time he walked into the shop...I won't say I didn't like him...he just gave me a vibe,the kind of vibe I used to get back in the day when I was working in psych hospitals. plus,he had some immediately annoying habits.
1.He wore a jumpsuit,with a belt and a flag on the shoulder.
2.You know how some people say "and uh" or "um" or "you know what I'm sayin' " every 2 or 3 words?This guy said "and what not" ,"this and that" and "so on and so forth" every 2 or 3 words...some times he would utter one or more of these phrases just for the sake of saying them.( I knew this from my previous interactions with him...so WHY would I volunteer to spend 6 plus hours with someone who,by merely opening his mouth would make me want to gouge my eyes out?!?!)
3.Lot's and lot's of questions...if I wanted to answer questions non-stop,I would get arrested and interrogated.
As the day wore on I ran out of things to do relating to my job so I :
Straightened the interior of the rodeo and put the back seats back in the up position.
Washed the bird shit off the drivers side windows.
Read every page of fridays edition of the loathsome austin american statesman.
re-read the austin chronicle...scouring for something I may have missed (I didn't miss anything)
Found a "quick dry window cleaning kit" in the rodeo and cleaned the windows.
Looked for missing lighters under the seats and that 00 gauge ear plug my dog Irene knocked out of my ear a year ago...several times.
Endured questions and "so and so's" and "what not's" until I considered running out into traffic.
Called Ann several times to "give her an update".
Called my buddy Joel (also the general manager) and tried to get him to come visit with some beer...quote:"I love ya Rob,but I'm not gonna do that...I don't want to be anywhere near the shop on my day off" who can blame him?
Sat on the curb in front of the shop,smoking cigs and staring at the sky like a catatonic.
Looked for those lighters some more.
When it was finally over and I was headed home,I was thankful.
That it was over.
And reminded of my need for focus and structure...
And certain that I would turn to a life of crime before I took a job as a parking lot attendant or a nightwatchman.